Tears blurred my next step.
It jarred something in me, sobering and humbling me all at once. I felt a millisecond of pride, followed fast and entangled by anxiety that caught my breath. I thought of the lists of things I did not want my daughter to carry on.
A desperate cry rushed from my heart in that moment, “Holy Spirit, help me. Help me lead these children well. Pour out wisdom. I need more... make me more like You.“
This is a big job. We want to be healed and free from brokenness so that our children only inherit and imitate the good things.
We’re constantly crying out to Jesus to heal our hearts and make us more like Him so we can parent, lead, love well.
I know that the key is knowing my Father, coming in close to His heart and resting there... listening to His heartbeat, learning His whisper, learning from Him how to love better because He is Love, inviting Him to uproot the broken and destructive things.
Paul tells us in Ephesians to be imitators of God, to imitate Jesus.
He wants us to look into our Father’s face and say “I want to be just like you.” And then to do it.
When we love deeply, we emulate, imitate, become like the object of our love.
We don’t want anyone to try to be like us, nope- not at all. We do want others to see Jesus in us and go be more like Him.
Imitate how He loves, and do it right where you are.
When we love like Jesus, it means getting our hands dirty, wading into the messy, touching the lepers, walking in dark places to shine the light, allowing inconvenience, focusing on people over schedules, sitting in the dirt with the broken, crying with the grieving, giving a cold cup of water, inviting someone to come and stay, releasing the love of The Father by smiling big, speaking blessing, when someone is rude or unkind.
Sometimes it means hugging someone tight, even when they smell badly and have head lice, knowing some will get on you. Do it anyway.
( I wonder how often Jesus had head lice? )
You don’t need to move across the ocean to be Missional; Just look across the table, just look at the little hand holding yours, just step outside your door.
Go love deeply today, in a million little ways, because you’re deeply loved by your Father.
Addendum: for anyone coming to visit or who has hugged me recently- this is an old picture. I do not currently have lice. Probably.