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He sees the one.

9/23/2020

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Meet Shierly, a beautiful and treasured friend.


Seven years ago, as I was greatly pregnant with Justice, husband and I conducted a medical mission with some doctors visiting from California, other missionaries, and local pastors.
We saw hundreds of patients who came from the nearby community and filled the basketball court.
From morning until night we did checkups, gave medicines, and prayed for masses of men, women and children.

Halfway through the day, I was handed a chart for a patient.
The assistant who had checked vitals thought she was pregnant.
I looked up at her and then felt the familiar whisper of the Holy Spirit, that voice that so often silences the chaos around me and shines a spotlight on the one.
He’s always interested in the one.

Shierly was emaciated, gaunt, sallow, with a massively swollen abdomen.
I took her aside and began to examine her, quickly realizing that she was not pregnant, but had a mass in her uterus.
I called an OB-Gyn over to consult. He concurred, eyes filled with concern.
He whispered over his shoulder to me, “I think it may be too late.”

I wrote an order for an ultrasound and medical consult to be done the next day, and sat down beside her. Her head hung down, tears dripping onto her clenched hands in her lap.
I asked if she knew Jesus, how much He loved her and wanted to meet with her in the middle of this.
“I’m a strong catholic,“ she said
“I read my bible and go to mass every week, I almost became a nun. I am good and help others.”

I told her that those things were good and wonderful, but none of them bring us into a personal relationship with Jesus. He wants to rescue her, save her, have relationship with her.
I asked if I could put my hand on her belly and pray for healing because I believed Holy Spirit wanted to heal her. She nodded her head.

As I invited Holy Spirit to come and heal her body and heart, I felt Him move powerfully.
Francis, several incredibly powerful pastor friends and their wives surrounded her, anointed her with oil and prayed healing over her.
Glorious things happen when we all join together and pray expectantly. The atmosphere was changing... from fear to life.

The next morning I was jarred awake by my phone ringing. The voice on the other end was sobbing and broken. I could barely make out the words.

Shierly had woken up to go get an ultrasound and her abdomen had gone flat. The tumor was gone.
She cried the entire way to the clinic, and saw for herself on ultrasound that the tumor was gone. Not a trace.

She surrendered her life into the hands of the One who touched her and her life has never been the same.
Shierly is now a force of love, passion and joy.
She loves Jesus and radiates His goodness. She tells everyone she sees about His love and how He’s changed her life.
She went on to Bible school and now does church from her home, partnering with local pastors.
She’s a powerful light in her community.
She’s a person of peace. A minister of reconciliation. A gift to everyone who meets her.

All because that day, in the middle of the crowd, Jesus saw and passionately went after the one.


I saw Shierly again this week, as she battled fear and anxiety, thinking the tumor had returned.
I reminded her of God’s love for her as we drove to the clinic together for an ultrasound. No matter what we see on the ultrasound screen, God is with her and fighting for her. Whether the diagnosis looks grim or not, she is held, and not hopeless.

I reminded her that all through history God tells his children to “Remember”.

Remember what He has done, how He’s always come through, all the miracles and every way He’s held us, how He’s fed us from His own hand, gently comforted us, split the sea in front of us. He’s moved mountains, led us with kindness, never left us alone. He creates hope out of desert sand, and He’ll never stop.

We forget... when the road is dark and pain-filled, when we’re at the bottom of the empty barrel, when fear comes against us like a tidal wave, and loneliness echoes off the walls.
We forget so fast that He’s the God of all hope.

Remember in the dark and dead of night what our God has shown you when the sun was shining. His presence is still with us when our feelings have gone numb, when the answer doesn’t look like we think it should, when brokenness look final.
He’s still holding us, filling us, anchoring us with His hope.

Shirly and I sang, cried, and remembered out loud, to ourselves and each other, all the ways He’s faithfully held onto us.

Oh, and this ultrasound was clear too.

(Photo and story used with permission)

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Mountaintops and leeches

9/14/2020

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Today our family hiked into the mountains, high above the clouds, where we could see the islands below us, floating in oceans of blue.

We were making our way to where some of our very favorite Mangyan friends were moving--higher into the mountains to plant their crops of rice, corn, ube, taro, and coffee.
They are building a new hut, as they often do, for their family of 16 and we were bringing wood to reinforce the thatch roof and walls for this typhoon season, and sacks of rice for them to eat.
Their baby, Aldrin, has been under our care for around nine months, as he has been malnourished, sick, and infested with parasites. He just turned one year old last week, and is finally beginning to thrive.

On the way up the mountain, Justice led the way…he hikes this path with Francis several times a week and knows it well. He leads with sure feet, puffed out chest, a walking stick, and a song.
As his strong voice echoed off the rocks and trees, his hand skimmed the rice fields beside us, and the rice stalks swayed in time. Verdant green as far as the eye could see.
Justice stopped suddenly as we reached the edge of the rice field, where the sun dazzled and warmed our faces, and birds swooped and played. He pointed ahead of us to where the path narrowed and dipped sharply downward. Trees hung low and close, and the path was shrouded in shadows. The air turned cool and damp, the sounds of the insects grew louder, mud made the path slippery and squished around our feet.

His voice grew serious. “Mama, girls, watch out. We’re entering leech valley.. they’ll get on you every chance they have.”

We kept walking, and watching. The moment you stop, leeches jump from the path or the low hanging branches and you don’t even feel them. They attach themselves, inject an anti-coagulant, and fill up on your blood.
It has become a warped fun family past-time: pull off the leeches before they sink-in their teeth.
I laughed a little, and replied mostly to myself, “That’s right, they will.”

The enemy is like that. He has been since the beginning.
We go from breath-taking mountaintops where the sun warms our face, and we have all the feels, where our hearts are bursting with all that is good, and we feel the immeasurable joy that is ours, where we feel the mercies that are piling up at our door by the truck-full, straight into a valley, in what seems like the next breath.

The valley is dark, shadowed in death, draped in paralyzing fear, and we can’t see where to put our foot next. We fumble. The light has gone out and we find ourselves on the under-side of joy, trying to get a hand up, but the path is slippery and the pits are deep. The valley echoes with whispers that we are alone.

Sometimes Holy Spirit leads us into that valley, like He did with Jesus, and there in that desolate wasteland, He teaches us to walk with our hands gripped onto His. He sustains us, holds onto us, keeps us close, comforts and consoles. He does not, however, deliver blows to our soul. He does not turn His back. He tucks us under a spread of wings that stretch beyond the valley.

That enemy of our souls is an opportunist. He crouches in the shadow of every valley and looks for pause. He waits to sink his teeth in and draw blood. He waits where he thinks our foot will slip. He knows our wounds because he gave them, and as they gape and bleed, he pours into them the acid of lies: You are alone. You are unloved. You are hopeless. God does not listen to you, and He will not come through. This valley, this wasteland will never end. There is no way out.

A lot of you are in the messy middle of a valley, a desert, so deep and long and high and wide that you can’t even lift up your head to see how far it stretches. You’re carrying a load so heavy that your legs are buckling and your grip is white. The anxiety in your chest is robbing your next breath and you just want. This. To. End.

Hear this: There is a Love that is deeper, longer, higher, wider than this valley. A Love that is more powerful than death and can break through a fortress of desolation. A Love that bleeds for you, and wraps up your shattered pieces and makes them whole again. A Love that takes that load and hoists it onto His own broad shoulders. A Love that holds you as you cry, and resurrects the dead places that you’ve already buried. A Love that breaks down walls and unlocks chains.

He sees you. He is beside you. He’s all around you. He is holding up your head and whispering to your soul that you are His, and you are not alone. He knows the way out of this valley. He took the beatings, the shame, the death, the brokenness, the hopelessness, so that you don’t have to any more. Not for one more arduous step.
Hold on…. Even if you feel you are empty on hope. Hope has you. Hold on.

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I want to be like You.

9/12/2020

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Recently, while we were holding hands and walking together, our eldest daughter Julia looked up at me and said, “I want to be just like you, Mama.”
Tears blurred my next step.

It jarred something in me, sobering and humbling me all at once. I felt a millisecond of pride, followed fast and entangled by anxiety that caught my breath. I thought of the lists of things I did not want my daughter to carry on.
A desperate cry rushed from my heart in that moment, “Holy Spirit, help me. Help me lead these children well. Pour out wisdom. I need more... make me more like You.“
This is a big job. We want to be healed and free from brokenness so that our children only inherit and imitate the good things.
We’re constantly crying out to Jesus to heal our hearts and make us more like Him so we can parent, lead, love well.

I know that the key is knowing my Father, coming in close to His heart and resting there... listening to His heartbeat, learning His whisper, learning from Him how to love better because He is Love, inviting Him to uproot the broken and destructive things.
Paul tells us in Ephesians to be imitators of God, to imitate Jesus.
He wants us to look into our Father’s face and say “I want to be just like you.” And then to do it.

When we love deeply, we emulate, imitate, become like the object of our love.
We don’t want anyone to try to be like us, nope- not at all. We do want others to see Jesus in us and go be more like Him.
Imitate how He loves, and do it right where you are.
When we love like Jesus, it means getting our hands dirty, wading into the messy, touching the lepers, walking in dark places to shine the light, allowing inconvenience, focusing on people over schedules, sitting in the dirt with the broken, crying with the grieving, giving a cold cup of water, inviting someone to come and stay, releasing the love of The Father by smiling big, speaking blessing, when someone is rude or unkind.
Sometimes it means hugging someone tight, even when they smell badly and have head lice, knowing some will get on you. Do it anyway.
( I wonder how often Jesus had head lice? )

You don’t need to move across the ocean to be Missional; Just look across the table, just look at the little hand holding yours, just step outside your door.

Go love deeply today, in a million little ways, because you’re deeply loved by your Father.


Addendum: for anyone coming to visit or who has hugged me recently- this is an old picture. I do not currently have lice. Probably.

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